Low energy date ideas

When I first started dating my girlfriend (a whole three and a half years ago!), I was actually remarkably healthy.

I didn’t have excellent hearing – though we didn’t know that yet – but I was otherwise physically fine. This meant that I never really considered how the dates would affect both my body and the amount of rest I would need after.

As we continued dating, I started to get quite unwell which has now resulted in me needing a lot more low-energy dates (or low-spoon dates if you’re familiar with the spoon theory!). My girlfriend and I have recently been discussing a few dates we wanted to go on a while ago and I’ve had to confront the idea that I actually just don’t have the ability to do those things right now. She’s been amazing about it and is always more than willing to compromise and come up with different date ideas so we still get some bonding time and time out of the house, but it doesn’t cost either of us too much time to recover.

I thought I’d share some of our date ideas with you guys just in case you’re ever in the same situation!

Movie date

So, this one is probably pretty obvious but there’s nothing quite like staying in to watch a good movie. I’ve recently been introducing my girlfriend to a few of my favourite movies - whilst also torturing her by forcing her to watch ‘Spy Kids’. Whether you both have the same taste in movies or something wildly different, watching movies together can be such a good bonding experience. You can be unbelievably tired and fall asleep together, you can make popcorn or have some other snack foods (because movie snacks are always required), you can get some good cuddles in! What more could you want?

If you’re feeling slightly more energetic though, go to the cinema! Bring your own snacks or get some there, whatever you prefer, and just sit back and relax for a couple of hours while you watch an excellent new release.

Picnic

I know picnics in general aren’t super low energy because they involve a lot of preparation and travelling, but that doesn’t need to be the case! You can set up a picnic in your own backyard or in your living room! Grab some snacks, sit on the floor and just get that good sun if you’re feeling up to being outside. Bring a book even! Reading on a picnic is one of my favourite things and I’m really grateful to my girlfriend who has adapted so well to my requirement of low-energy dates and enjoys our living room picnics just as much as I do.

There are of course local parks you can go to if you’re feeling like you’ve got a bit more energy!

Bake something

Now this one actually is a lot more energy than it should be, so I would save this one for a slightly higher energy day, but there are always adaptions to be made.

My girlfriend and I really love baking together - or at least I really love baking with her because I’m fairly certain she contemplates our relationship while we bake (I am an actual disaster in the kitchen). Luckily for me, my partner has no physical disability so I’m immensely grateful to her for always offering to do any of the difficult prep work like cutting apples or doing the mixing because I simply don’t have the energy or the strength.

We’ve made apple pies that have turned out to be the absolute most delicious things ever, we’ve made chocolate cakes and self-saucing puddings. I’m an absolute sucker for dessert and so is she so that works out perfectly!

But I’m also very aware that sometimes I don’t have the patience, energy or physical strength to be helping her make anything, so we’ve recently been trying a bunch of different packet mixes too! There’s no shame in baking only from packet mixes! You still get delicious food at the end and it’s much lower-energy and can be more disability-friendly which is really important.

Get creative!

I love sewing, as does my partner (she is the one who taught me how to make cool things!) but we also love crochet and she loves to knit. I realise that through reading all these dates you’re probably wondering if I’m actually an 85 year old in disguise and I have no comment on that!

When I’m up for it and can actually use my hands properly, she and I will sit down and do some sewing or crochet some squares for a blanket we’ve been making for the past few years (we just keep forgetting about it, it’s not that hard to do).

There’s also the option of doing some painting! Get out some paper and some watercolours. Or maybe draw something. Watch a Bob Ross video and get some inspiration while also being praised for your incredible talent because Bob Ross wants nothing more than for you to love yourself.

Being creative isn’t about being perfect, it’s about allowing yourself some space to have fun and express yourself and in this case, it’s also about the bonding and laughter you get from being with your partner.

Start a TV show together

I know this is along the same lines of a movie date but TV shows are sometimes easier to get through because they’re shorter and the plot doesn’t take quite so long to unfold so they can be a little bit easier to watch when you’re really tired.

My partner and I have watched a few TV shows together - from ‘Merlin’ and ‘Wynonna Earp’ to ‘Everything’s going to be okay’. We’ve found that TV shows are a great way to still get that rest time (and don’t forget the snacks and hugs) while also not being forced to sit and watch a 2 hour thing if we get bored or restless (or fall asleep like I often do - my girlfriend puts up with the absolute most from me).

Go for a walk

Now, this one will require a significant amount of self-awareness (something I do not have) because it can either be really amazing to get out of the house and just exist in the fresh air for a while, or it can be draining and painful depending on how you’re going that day.

If you have a park, playground or general open space not too far from your homes, you can head there. When I walk with my girlfriend, we tend to go to the playground down the road as we both have one close to each of our houses. The break of having a park in the middle of a walk means I’m not forced to walk for a whole half hour straight. I can take a break after a little while and get some rest and recovery in to hopefully stave off the exhaustion and pain – so this is something that might work for you.

Some last thoughts

There’s a lot of stigma around dating while disabled but also about dating disabled people. We are just as loveable and exciting to be around as non-disabled folks, and we are more than capable of being good partners. Sometimes dating a disabled person might look a little bit different because different considerations have to be made but it doesn’t make us any less deserving of love, nor does it make a non-disabled person a hero for dating a disabled person.