Stage fright

I’ve previously written blog posts here on being nervous about conference presentations and public speaking in general. As a postgraduate and mature-aged student, it’s reasonable to expect that I’ve experienced plenty of them, and so when a request for a radio interview came through, I was surprised that I was more terrified than excited about this opportunity - don’t even take into account the huge wave of imposter syndrome feels that came over me!

Of course, there was a little voice inside me telling me that I ought to be proud of myself - someone thought my voice, my research, and my so-called expertise was worth listening to. It was a whisper that would last a split second, overcome by a pervasive, booming voice telling me I don’t have what it takes and that I’d fail. Nevertheless, being my parents’ child, I accepted the challenge. Luckily, I didn’t have to go blindly into it all on my own. I had stellar support from my peers and our media manager. They gave me pointers, they practiced with me, they listened, and they were honest. Mostly, they were just there - a safe space where I could be myself.

What were my fears from the radio interview?

• That I would ramble and stumble on my words.
• That my mind would go blank.
• That I would suck.

Okay to be fair, that last one is pretty vague and harsh, but it was still very much a fear of mine. What did I learn though through this exacting and yet rewarding ordeal? After a handful of experiences, I realised that I wasn’t bad. It wasn’t as if the more I did it, the less nervous I became. I was still nervous. Mostly I believe it was just that I was more prepared. The more did it, the more I was interviewed, the more I knew what to expect, or at least know how to handle questions that were tricky. Every time, I had some tangible experience to inform myself how best to prepare again for the next time instead of trying to prepare for the immensity of the unknown. 

I also learned that I really am passionate about my research and the more I practiced, the more I was able to hone my key messages and communicate the significance of my work more effectively. Also, because I really cared about my work, my mind was never going to go blank. I just needed to breathe through the nerves and authentically talk about what I know.

As always with these tough experiences, they usually bear the sweetest fruit.