Goodbyes and missing people
I always get a big dose of loneliness and sadness when my partner and I have to live in different places for a couple of months but here is how I get through the distance.
My partner is headed off home for the summer but I am staying in Adelaide which means I won’t see him for another few months (big sad). Sometimes I find it hard to process the feelings too before he leaves and it's only when he is walking out onto the airport runway that I remember to say, “I love you”.
To be perfectly honest, the first day is always the hardest. It just seems to stretch forever. You’re texting every few seconds, you’re thinking about them and you’re wondering what they’re cooking for dinner when you walk home from work before you realise, they’re gone.
But that is life! We can’t always be in the same place doing the same thing, as comfortable as that would be. And this time apart gives us both a bit of a chance to undo any unhealthy reliance or at least get to know ourselves a bit better.
So here are some of the things I do to cope with the loneliness of our albeit brief separation.
Going for walks
There is something about being back in nature alone with your thoughts again that makes you realise how long it has been since you have done exactly that. Sure its way more fun to have an awesome person with you who makes you laugh but there is value in being in your own mind. In a way it helps you practice mindfulness. It means that I must slow down and realise that I am feeling lonely and that really is ok.
Whatever your hobby - painting, cooking, meming - there is a reason you love doing it and you should celebrate that! I personally love photography and have started noticing that when seeking out some snaps on my own, I tend to spend time on different things and notice greater details. I like pursuing this hobby as something that makes me value the creative side of myself.
I will always swear by dancing on your own because it always works for me! It’s especially good because you can play music that you know your partner hates but you secretly love. Just try it out, turn up the tunes and watch yourself in the mirror (in a non-weird way).
Overall I get through the separation with the knowledge that I will see my partner again and in the meantime, there are always phones to keep us connected in an instant. Plus, one of my favourite things as well – I get to send him things in the post! So if you’re feeling lonely because a friend is out of town or you haven’t visited your family in a while, you are not alone at all.