Self-confidence and giving things a go
Self-confidence is something we are all continuously building on. Everyone keeps pushing themselves to try new and different things. For myself, even simple things like starting at university and going up to order a cup of coffee have made me nervous. I feel it is very easy for me to slip into a comfortable monotonous life. This is why I try to push myself into trying new things and giving things a go. I have already thought about cancelling and pulling out of the event and have come close to doing it. However, a few things have kept me from doing so.
My partner and family
As soon as told my partner and family I was thinking of trying something new they told me to do it! There was no laughing or doubt or questioning, just a resolve to give it a go. It comforted that these people weren’t just saying it out of social obligation but because they know who I am and what my personality is like and they wanted to see me have a go. It may sound indulgent or arrogant, but just having people close to you that say you can do it can make a huge difference for me.
It may sound dated and a bit stupid, but when I offer to do something I try my best to commit to it. This mostly stems from my fear of letting people down, but I also think of all the effort people have put into organising and coordinating everything and that cancelling isn’t just a decision that will affect me but also all of their hard work.
It may sound self-evident but I try to push myself to try new things to build on my character. I always think people will laugh and judge and I will look like a fool and I hate this and I don’t want to do it and… before I know it I’m on stage. Perhaps the fear and negativity will never go away but I have been getting better at controlling it and overcoming it. I breathe, and pretend I’m one of the audience. I can’t imagine ever judging or making fun of anyone for having a go and I know that I just go home and forget. The fact that everyone really thinks this brings me a lot of comfort. The little voice in my head makes no sense. Why would anyone think about you all day and how failed? It’s just not rational.
So, I push myself, lock myself into an obligation and connect with my friends and family and it somehow seems to get me through. I also tell myself that nervousness just means you care.