Over-commitment consequences

Small planner showing the months of 2022

A spiralized diary sitting on a desk open to January 2022

I have come to realize nearly halfway through the year that I may have bitten off more than I can chew in the number of commitments I've made for myself.

At the start of the year I was determined to make this year different for myself. I was disappointed with my first year of University in 2021 and I wanted to start 2022 off on the right foot. What I didn't realise was that by putting myself into many different spaces meant that I had to stretch myself thin enough to reach them all.

I'd taken up volunteering, found a second job in retail, joined two clubs, taken up a position as a student blogger and all while studying a theory-heavy double major. I felt great at first, proud that I could juggle so many things at once while keeping up with my studies and maintaining an above-average grade. I couldn't remember the last time I felt this much self-worth.

About a month into the first semester I started to feel tired all the time. The only times I would be home were late in the evening, before having to wake up at 6am the next day for the next commitment. Come  the end of April I was at a breaking point. I started to skip a couple classes because even they started to feel like too much of a chore. The sense of reward in my commitments had dwindled, if not completely, in some of them. Everything felt like an obligation. The days that I was happy to do what I was doing were far and few in-between. So this week I decided to let go of a couple of these commitments. 

Part of me feels guilty for letting some people down and the other part wants to tell me that I failed at achieving anything at all. But I know now that neither of these thoughts are true. I stepped out and tried many new things and that in itself is quite the accomplishment for me. In the end I've either discovered what wasn't for me or feel that the commitment has had it's time and now I'm ready to look for and try more new things. But this time in moderation and when I'm ready.

Have you taken a look at your commitments lately? Are there any in particular that you've thought about letting go? If so, there's no reason to feel like you can't. It's your time, and what you do with it is precious.

Tagged in What messes with your head, over-commitment, commitments