The dilemma of decision

a patterned black and white wall showing five doors

As a person of many, many interests, I lately find myself double-guessing my choices when it comes to my future.

I struggle to make decisions that are equal parts for my own enjoyment and likely to lead to a more successful future. With all my interests, this leaves an infinite number of outcomes for me to discover. While I'm grateful for the variety, the grip of indecision can keep me in one spot for ages. Because of this, what usually happens after I make any decision, no matter how confident I may be in it, is I'm always left telling myself that I should've, could've, would've done something else instead. That there was a 'right' decision for me to make that wouldn't have left me in the position that I am in today.

My mum is the first person I go to when I'm feeling emotionally overwhelmed. During one such ramble in the evening, she stopped me and said,

Sometimes, there's no right or wrong choices to make. Only decisions.My mum

Call me dramatic, but my thinking has forever been changed since that day.

It's usually these words that pull me out of my darker moments while thinking about my future. It makes the voice of 'shoulda, coulda, woulda' that little bit quieter that lets me think clearly and rationally. The truth is that I can't see my future, nor what my decisions of today will lead me to, but I know that if I work hard enough for something I truly care about then it can only lead to a happy path. I have to let go of the fact that I can't plan for everything in my future, and can only be in the present.

Times that I find I just can't get out of that headspace, hearing other people's takes on the matter is a big help. It lets me see things from a number of different perspectives and gives me the chance to change how I'm seeing what it is currently right in front of me. 

A top tip I've seen in online resources is firstly dividing your interests into two groups. The first one is what interests you could keep as hobbies and find other avenues to get your fix of them (eg. by volunteering, using online platforms, joining clubs and communities, etc.), while the second one is what you could see pursuing as a career. Don't panic if you can't group your interests in a day; thinking takes a long time! It takes patience to discover who we are and what we want. We're our own treasure hunters, always discovering new nuggets of gold within ourselves! I've linked below a couple of YouTube videos that talk about the struggle of many interests and what might be some ways you can navigate your indecision.

Choosing a university/college course when you have too many interests

How to Focus Your Priorities and Narrow Down Your Interests

Tagged in What messes with your head