The bottom of the barrel

oil barrel buried in desert

Oil barrel

I once joked that when I ran out of ideas I would just write about how I ran out of ideas…

Well, here we are.

I mean I think I will continue to have ideas. All kinds of ideas I hope. Right now though I’m drawing a blank. I just don’t seem to know what I’m even thinking. It’s like turning the key in a car’s ignition and having the engine think about starting but not quite succeed.

Maybe this is the end of the line. There’s only so many things I can write about. What if I’ve reached the end of my creativity? I’ve covered a lot of stuff about myself and I don’t lead a life where I’m doing different stuff everyday like skydiving or something.

My “adventures” are pretty run of the mill. I try to lead a good life, in good company, being a better person than I was yesterday. Aren’t we all doing that? How much is there to write about that? Is this what a mid-life crisis is like? Do we eventually just reach a point where we think “what more can I do”? That’s a really scary thought.

I like to think slices of my life and the thoughts I have are interesting because they’re fairly common experiences. I always like it when someone else has written out something that I’ve thought but never articulated. I just can’t dissect any of my thoughts into a definable idea right now.

I’m tired. Just so tired. I just want a holiday… and also a career. I want someone to tell me that they’re going to hire me as a lawyer after three weeks of holidaying. And not the kind of holidaying I’m doing now where I’m just doing more work in the place of uni work - a holiday where I actually get a break from obligations. That’d be nice.

Maybe that’s an idea - I could put aside some time to rest and let the ideas come a little bit more naturally.

Tagged in what messes with your head