Feeling lost in life

Lately I’ve been feeling up and down with life in general – particularly as I'm approaching the end of my degree.

Should I be applying for grad jobs? Should I be trying to gain more work experience? Did I choose the right degree? Will I enjoy the profession I’m in? Should I study something else?

If you know me more personally, I’m usually someone who has long term goals and a strict schedule. I'm known to be a hard worker and can overcommit to a lot of different things… but lately I’ve felt the need to take a pause and reflect on what I really want out of life. Perhaps this is an existential crisis – likely triggered from life changes (moving out, new jobs, making new friends, and transitioning to adulthood). Although not all negative thought processes, I’m finding myself thinking more and more about the purpose of life and what I should do to feel fulfilled and happy.

I’m finding these thought processes more prevalent lately due to Covid. I think we can all agree that spending more time with our thoughts has led to new thought patterns and choices. These new choices for me have been positive improvements – I’ve prioritised my mental health and physical health (as we all should!). I’ve learnt to not be harsh on myself for sleeping in or missing out on social events. But every now again, I feel like I’m wasting time, like I should be doing more with my 20s. I have to remind myself that it’s okay to take a step back and maintain a steady pace with goals instead of wanting everything ticked off. 

I haven’t fully come to terms with the fact that I'll be finished my current degree after this summer. I have so many paths and choices I can take but right now, I can’t seem to want to choose one. It is very much a go with the flow and remain positive and open to new opportunities. I’m not entirely sure what this blog is offering but I wanted to voice that it's okay to feel a little lost. The grey areas in life should truly be embraced – it’s time where you don’t know what’s next but you should feel excited for the next chapter.

In other news, spring is approaching and I can't wait for sunny weather and flowers! It’s the little things I’ve come to appreciate to ground myself and create a distraction from a hole of overthinking. I believe it's important to remind yourself that no one truly has things figured out... and that life is all about growing and learning (whether you’re 22 or 102). Life is an exciting journey with constant twists and turns.