Am I falling behind?

blogpic,pixabay, running track, running lanes, long shadows, woman exercising

I’m at the point in my degree where the only thing my friends and I could only ever talk about are our contemplations for the future. We’re all freaking out about it but lately I can’t help feeling as though I’m falling behind on all my peers. If only one had a crystal ball to peer into…

It’s daunting thinking about life post-graduation. I mean, I’m excited obviously for the day I get to wake up and not worry about the assignment I left to the last minute to do but with that comes a whole different world of responsibilities, and it’s not even the “real world” that I’m scared of – it’s thinking of how to get there that’s keeping me up at night.

I don’t know a lot of things but (at this point) I know one thing’s for certain, I don’t want to become a lawyer. Sorry mum, dad… and Elle Woods but analysing cases and applying laws to the facts for the past 3 years have made me realised that this is not where my heart lies. Great, she’s a girl who knows what she wants! That’s a good first step to planning one’s future. What am I freaking out for?

Well, for one, I now must figure out a way to get my foot in an industry that is so different to law. It’s not impossible, of course, but boy it sure ain’t easy when you have to break away from the conventional path; when you don’t have the comfort of simply going with the flow because I have to steer my own course.

And seeing my friends securing clerkships and internships and networking with lawyers is feeding into my delusions that I’m falling behind. Don’t get me wrong, I’m beyond stoked for them, but I can’t help feel like I’m stuck in a mud pit whilst I watch my friends march on ahead of me, bagging their dream jobs. Should I have just stuck to a career in law instead? 

Don’t even get me started on the LinkedIn posts.

I know that all these thoughts and worries are normal, that pretty much everyone went through it at some point in their lives, but it has been occupying my mind a lot lately. It’s also been tough trying to convey what’s been eating at my thoughts because I haven’t known anyone who is going through the same predicament as I am. That is until this morning when I had a chat with one of my sister’s friends. 

She went through pretty much the same situation as I did – studied law, graduated, did something else completely different afterwards. In law school, that’s what we call a good analogous case. She assured me that what I wanted to do is completely possible, but what stuck with me the most was when she told me to just stay in my own lane and not worry about the progress of others. 

I think it’s so easy to get sucked into that vacuum of comparing yourself to others, especially when you feel like you’re alone in this situation. So it was nice to get that gentle reminder.

Tagged in What messes with your head, future