I just turned 21 a few weeks ago. In the couple of weeks leading up to it, I kept forgetting it was coming up, seriously just went right over my head. I can’t tell if it was my subconscious trying to block out the fact that I’m getting older, that its time to be an adult, be more responsible, that soon my parents will kick me out (hopefully not in the next 5 to 6 years) not that my mother is planning on letting go of her only child (apart from the cat) anytime soon. Or that life is so fleeting, passing by so, so quickly like how dare she!... Seriously what’s the deal?!
I’ve realised recently that I haven’t been making the most of my life. Sure I have a great, big group of friends from high school that I luckily still hang out with, we see each other as much as we can and do things when we don’t have uni or work. I spend lots of time with my family. I DO go outside sometimes, and no not just my, rather spacious, backyard. I took up martial arts last year and love it, definitely recommend it. I exercise (at home from YouTube). I do a lot of things no doubt, no doubt, no doubt. But I also, stay up late, I procrastinate (that rhymed), I sleep in too late, I eat breakfast and lunch at weird times, I spend way too much time on my phone, like everyone else in the world, even though nothing happens on it and hardly anyone messages me ever except for my darling mother…………………
Sorry I just took a break and spent 30 unnecessarily wasteful minutes on my phone… Nothing on social media to report… just some classic memes and pictures of places overseas that I would rather be at. But do you see what I mean? I’m sure most of you can agree that time is passing by so quickly. Days are over just like that, and I’m wasting my time. I’m so grateful for everything I have, of course, a roof over my head, a loving family, food on the table, great friends, and more! I also have had a great education that I have also taken advantage of, not meaning to, of course, my brain just doesn’t work as some others do. Finding motivation and drive is hard for a lot of us, even when we find the thing that we actually love and enjoy. And that’s kind of okay.
But that’s one thing I find hard to understand sometimes when people say or post on Instagram “It’s okay to not know sometimes,” or “it’s okay to do nothing sometimes,” which I know IS fine, but what if it’s almost every day that you live like this? Or every day you don’t know? There has to come a time and a point where it’s almost not okay and we have to start pushing ourselves, even if it starts small. Turning 21 I’ve realised that I need to start getting serious about things and even get selfish about things. I need to get serious about my future and my career even though I am dreading graduating uni. But I know that that’s fear talking. And I don’t like fear anymore.
I’m doing an arts degree in Media and Film, which is a very difficult industry, very competitive and a lot of people who don’t understand it question it. But working in films is what I want to do, I’ve always loved movies, and been really interested in the behind the scenes so I should start doing things and creating opportunities for myself to get my foot in the door. Having this job, blogging is a great start, looks so good on my resume. I went to a film and talent expo where we did acting workshops, and Q&A panels with directors and producers which was very fun and intriguing. A couple of years ago I was lucky enough to do do work experience with Rising Sun Pictures, which is a visual effects company in Adelaide. VFX isn’t something I want to get into but it was awesome to see their work and talk to fellow creatives including production and marketing. I am getting an internship soon with Career Trackers, which is a great opportunity for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander students to get into to start their career. I’ve done a lot of things to increase my knowledge of the industry and further develop myself, all of these things have been so beneficial.
Writing this blog has actually helped me to self reflect, to realise that I actually have done a lot and have a lot going for myself, and I hope this inspires you as a reader. However, I think there is more I can do, and I will figure it out. I have to keep networking, going to more things like conferences and events, finding amazing opportunities and find out a way to stand out and delve into my inner creative. I will figure it out, we all will one day don’t worry. It doesn’t have to be right this second, or tomorrow or next week. But there comes a point when you realise you’re ready for it, ready to be selfish and sacrifice things to get what you want and where you want to be… but sometimes I can be a little impatient. Wish me luck!